Issue No. 118 I June 2011

Editorial

The spate of burglaries in other residential colonies in Delhi, following the one in Yamuna has set off a security paranoia. Some residents have fortified their residence with grills and fancy locks, making them resemble a jail. Instead of going through so much effort, if residents keep almost all their money and jewellery in their Bank and deal in credit and debit cards for the most part, the burglar will soon realise that Yamuna is not a good hunting ground. He is unlikely to walk away with your furniture and clothes! One also does not have to live in constant dread of being robbed. Am I being too naive with my suggestion?

Four thieves, who spirited away with the goods and money from some of the Delhi burglaries, have been nabbed. It is not clear if they or their associates were part of the Yamuna decamping.

While Anna Hazare and his band of civil society members were busy thrashing out a model Lok Pal Bill with the Government, the flamboyantly hirsute yogi in saffron dhoti and little else, stole the thunder by ranting away in the Ramlila grounds. Preaching the virtues of yoga was fine but openly courting RSS members jangled the Government’s nerves and in a late night police manoeuvre, he was banished from the city. For the shaggy sage to try and disguise in women’s clothes must have been quite a hairy challenge! It was no surprise that he stuck out like a sore thumb and was hauled away.

Summer has been a little tepid this year, with showers coming as a welcome relief whenever the mercury threatened to shoot up. As such it was not such a torrid time for those of us who could not go on a vacation to cooler climes. However, when the sun comes out after the rainy interludes it does become a little muggy and the mosquitoes have a field day.

Admissions to courses and colleges of choice have been vexing and onerous for even toppers. Shriram College of Commerce, which set its cut off at a mind boggling 100% for admission to B.Com (Hons) course has set a daunting precedent. That a girl from Tamil Nadu did secure admission with 100% marks is stupendous. That she got 100% marks in English among other subjects is baffling. While it is possible to max in grammar and spelling, it is foolhardy to think that anyone can get 100% marks in English literature. While I do not wish to take anything away from the merit of the girl in question, I have reasonable cause to believe that the marking system is seriously flawed. It is a welcome relief that all the children from Yamuna have secured admission. Kudos, to you, boys and girls!

The Board exam for Class X was not mandatory this year. Ever eager to escape the trial by fire, none of the children from Yamuna appeared in the Board exam.

After strongly pursuing with the ministry and MCD, the drain outside the complex has been cleaned. But, the general populace has no civic sense and ere long it will be choked again. All the drains inside the complex have been cleaned before the onset of the monsoon. Let’s hope there is no outbreak of dengue and chickungunia this year.

Power outages had moved into the penumbra of our consciousness ever since power distribution was privatised from DESU to BSES. It came to haunt us again on the night of the 22^nd. No sooner was I geared to retire for a cosy snooze in my climatised bedroom than the whirr of the inverter signalled a power outage. I figured that it might be a routine load shedding which lasts not more than an hour. I couldn’t be more wrong. It was restored the following morning after 7 am! The intervening hours were spent variously in the park, on the road and driving the kids to 24/7 outlet for a treat which did not rest light on my pocket. I did however make a discovery from my discomfiture. As I was perambulating within the confines of the colony, I was hit by a draft of strong and comforting breeze when I moved through the tunnel that connects B&C blocks. I figured that the B&C blocks’ topography was acting like a funnel for the breeze. This piece of discovery can come in handy in case of future power outages. We could all pull up chairs and settle there for a mini panchayat.

The rain dance on the 25^th was very enthusiastically received by the kids. The water sprinkler was hoisted on a pole and made operational so that it could cover a wider area. But the teenagers who in the past showed eagerness to get wet and wild, seemed less enthused this time and were seen playing basketball. Two splash pools of 5ft and 12 ft diameter each were inflated and water filled in them for the children to romp in them. It was a herculean task to inflate the big splash pool and fill it with water. Attempts were made to inflate it with two air pumps belonging to Srikanth of C-003, but the nozzle was not matching the aperture. Finally, Venkatesh of A-004 came to the rescue with his pump and the job was done. Pictures taken by Srikanth of the children having a jolly good time can be viewed in the Yamuna Photo Album.

The Special General Body Meeting called on the 26^th passed off without much ado. All the resolutions were passed with an overwhelming majority. We had to settle for a medium category security agency, as hiring any top class agency would have pushed the maintenance charges by more than Rs. 250 a month. There were some residents who wanted us to go for the best, but try telling that to a retired person who sees his savings disappear into an eddy of collateral debt obligation. Unfortunately, due to the absence of Kashu, tea and refreshments could not be served. Early morning rain meant that the meeting had to be moved to the Community Hall from the quadrangle outside the office.

In a democratic set-up as we have in our society, it is quite conceivable that a minority’s view may not be aligned with the majority. In such a situation one has to go with the majority view even if it militates with one’s world view of things. There are only two options available, either put up with it or move elsewhere. The same holds good with the Government. Most of the educated elite may not agree with the way the Government conducts its business. However, the educated elite constitute a minority in the total demographics of the country. In extreme cases where the dissenter is very powerful and resourceful, a dictator may emerge. But history has shown that there are no cases of benign dictatorships. Even those who start off benignly, eventually become megalomaniacs as power goes to their heads. Seldom have dictators lived their term. They are either overthrown or meet a ghastly end. The power of the ballot is supreme, dissenters notwithstanding.

Vidya Nair of A-203 is on a mission to ease the burden of commuters. She is working hard to garner support for providing feeder service from Alaknanda to the closest Metro station. She has posted a small write-up on her Facebook account highlighting the prevailing auto fares to commute to the Metro stations and as a green and convenient alternative to have a feeder service. Please click the appropriate box if you agree with her proposal. She is also taking up the matter with the other RWA’s and is planning to start a signature campaign and send a petition to the Transport Minister of Delhi. Please lend her all the support. You can access her campaign at this Facebook link:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Green-Wheels-Metro-Station-Connectivity-For-Alaknanda/156820541053874

The spectre of liquidation that was hanging over the fortunes of the Yamuna Store has been lifted as they have won the case. With this the skeletal activity that was happening in the store becomes history. They can begin to stock better and achieve higher turnover.

OBITUARY

Miny Subodh, daughter of Mr.& Mrs. Ravindran of B-004 passed away in Kerala on the 24^th . It is a tragedy, that a person so young with two teenage children should meet such an untimely end. She was a very pleasant and bright person. She and her family moved to Dubai some years ago and she was teaching maths in a school there. Yamuna residents convey their heartfelt condolences to the bereaved family.

HOME TRUTHS

I am risking my life by reproducing the following Internet jokes I received:


1. Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either your money or life... The wives want both.


2. Marriage is like a public toilet. Those waiting outside are desperate to get in and those inside are desperate to come out.


3. No man can ever be satisfied with four things in life :
(1) Mobile (2) Automobile (3) TV (4) Wife
Because there is always a better model in the neighbourhood.


4. Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right. It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!


5. Imagine living with three wives in one compound and never leaving the house for five years. Osama Bin Laden must have called the US Navy Seals himself!


6.. Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again.


7. It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she is in love the most; and when a man does that... the slide show begins.

A Humorous Poem

Only the English could have invented this language

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,

But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,

Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,

Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,

Then shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,

And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,

Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,

Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,

And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,

But though we say mother, we never say mothren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,

But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;

neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England .

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,

We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,

And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,

Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends

And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English

Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.

We have noses that run and feet that smell.

We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.

And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,

While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language

In which your house can burn up as it burns down,

In which you fill in a form by filling it out,

And in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?

And if people from Poland are called Poles

Then people from Holland should be Holes

And the Germans, Germs.

And let's not forget the Americans, who changed s to z, but that's another story....

Yet to be read !