Issue No. 148 I December 2013

EDITORIAL

I have not come across a more benign December in several years. Temperatures have been well above normal except the days after Christmas leading to the New Year. Barring a few foggy or overcast days, the sun has shown as brightly as possible through the thick shroud of smog. Despite the lack of severity on the cold front, senior citizens have a tough time combating the vagaries of the weather. That along with the illnesses and ailments the cold weather and pollution brings at this time of the year, make many think of migrating to warmer climes in the South. Adequate protection and suitable diet are ways of staying healthy during the winter months. For younger people, winter is the time to spend more time outdoors basking in the sun or going on picnics, shopping or sundry outings. Winter is also the time when there is plenty happening on the cultural front, weddings and parties notwithstanding.

One of the ways to stay in good shape is to get a good oil massage. Oil as a hair and body care product is probably applied nowhere else in the world to such an extent as in India. Mothers slathering the viscous mass on the children to keep their skin and hair healthy has been in practice since eons. The plethora of hair and body care products available from all corners of the world cannot hold a candle to the good old oil. The benefits of this oleaginous massage cannot be overstated and there is no better time than winter to soak in its benefits.

There is a swathe of saffron in the four states that went for elections in December. It really augurs well for BJP at the forthcoming national elections. We hope Modi can change the fortunes of the country which have plummeted to ever lower depths. A lacklustre second term of UPA was just the tonic that BJP needed to turn on the screws. The emergence of AAP as a game changer could probably provide a new twist to the polarised polity between secular and non secular parties. Their platform of corruption free India has found resonance with the youth which now constitutes a large percentage of voters. Interesting times are ahead.

Malls were decorated in colours of red, green and white heralding the arrival of Christmas. There were more gawkers and onlookers than real shoppers in the crowded malls. Yuletide excitement has pervaded the Indian milieu like never before.

The Christmas carnival at Yamuna was the time to feast on plum cakes, cinnamon rolls,  baked potatoes and cream, carrot cake and imbibe a brew of indeterminate origin. The stage was bedecked with trinkets, baubles, pine cones, and a Christmas tree and festooned with a holly wreath, berries and mistletoe. Despite some notable absentees like Sundaresans and Savarkars, this year's Carnival drew a fairly large  hedonistic crowd, eager to let their hair down and soak in the Carnival atmosphere. The setting for the Nativity scene made by Alka and Vidya Venkat looked authentic with Baby Jesus lying in the barn with Mary and Joseph looking over. The Christmas carols were sung by Aparna Krishnan, Aparna Varma, Shreeya, Shreeja, Kiana and Radhika. Aparna Krishnan trained the children on a regular basis for them to pass the audition. They were ably assisted in the Nativity scene by Shashvath, Dhruv, Vanshika, Samarth, Anjali, Anushka, Bhavana, Devyani, Navya and Sahana Iyer. Shreeja as the prancing reindeer made a grand entrance. The entire ensemble looked very attractive. Vedika as the quintessential Santa Claus  distributed goodies.

Radhika Samson on the Sitar, Pranav on the Tabla, Ramanan on the Lead Guitar and Rangu on Bass came up with a sublime performance of fusion music, sound glitches notwithstanding. The winter catwalk had many enthusiastic participants amongst the children but the older children and adults needed a lot of cajoling to flaunt their clothes, amongst other things. I must confess that the style quotient amongst Yamuna residents has gone up a notch after we introduced the ramp walk. For example the boots worn by Shreeya and Medha and head gear of several contestants had the quality and style of bespoke design houses.

Attractive prizes for the winners of the catwalk were donated by Mr. P. H. Narayanan and Dr. Abhilash Pillai (the perennial donors). The winners were:-

	WINTER CATWALK PRIZE WINNERS
PRIZE	NAME	ADDRESS
	SMALL CHILDREN
FIRST	ADWITA NAIR	B-107
SECOND	SAHANA IYER	C-003
	OLDER CHILDREN
FIRST	VEDIKA ARORA
SECOND	SHREEYA SRIKANT	A-106
	LADIES
FIRST	REKHA RAGHAVENDRA	A-001
SECOND	SUDHA EASWARAN	H-202
	GENTS
FIRST	P.K.K. NAIR	H-308
SECOND	DEEPAK VARMA	H-208

There was plenty on offer on the food and drinks front and as the crowd swarmed the food counters the offerings flew off the griddle as if everybody  had starved for the occasion.

As usual the dancers were in high spirits and showed their moves on the dance floor. Anu, Meera, Sudha, Rekha amongst the women, Deepak, Abhilash, Sreekumar Madhu amongst the men, Medha, Soumya, Nandita, Manisha amongst the senior girls and Kiana, Shreeja, Shreeya Aparna amongst the junior girls showed off dance moves that could make Bollywood stars proud.

The bonfire thankfully lasted the through the evening and kept everybody warm on what was otherwise a very cold night.

After making no headway with the traffic police to give them permission to bring the trunk line from Tughlakabad to Alaknanda, IGL finally decided to use the trunk line from Chittaranjan Park to feed Alaknanda. Our pipeline will therefore come through Ganga Apartments. As per the information I got from IGL, work in our colony will start in two months time.

The cold and damp New Year's eve did not dampen the spirits of the usual culprits who show up at the midnight cake cutting ritual to usher in the New Year. There was much back slapping and hugging in the fervent hope that 2014 will bring in a lot of cheer. We wish the rest of the Yamuna residents who were not present at the zero hour a very rewarding New Year.

SNIPPETS

Another flat in Yamuna went under the hammer. A-010 has been sold by Mrs. Saroja Seetharaman.

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Mandakini Malla has moved into A-302 from Narmada apartments. She is working as Associate Vice President programming for NDTV Good Times. The programme is aired every Saturday at 8 pm. She is very fond of travelling which gels very well with her role in the travel channel. The decor in her house is very pleasing. She has a pet cat called Kiko. We welcome Mandakini into the Yamuna family. She can be reached on 09560061530.

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Tejaswini and Kapil Raina have moved to Noida from H-002 . Tejaswini had endeared herself to all the children, as she has tutored them at different times during her stay in the colony. She was  omnipresent between G&H and has been a very popular resident. She and Kapil (who maintained a low profile), will be missed by the residents.

MIRTH CORNER

The Income Tax Department (ITD) decides to audit Grandpa, summons him to their office. The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with a lawyer. 

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the ITD finds that believable.' 'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?' The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.' 

Grandpa says,  “I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.”  The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.' Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.' The auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. 

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's lawyer as a witness. He starts to get nervous. 'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks  “I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.” 

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. 

But Grandpa's own lawyer moans and puts his head in his hands. 'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.  'Not really,' says the lawyer. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me 25,000 dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!

Television (Roald Dahl)

Television rots the sense in the head !
It kills imagination dead !
It clogs and clutters up the mind !
It makes a child so dull and blind !
They can no longer understand
A fantasy, a fairyland !
Their brains becomes as soft as cheese !
Their powers of thinking rust and freeze !
They cannot think - They only see !

And in its place you can install,
A lovely bookshelf on the wall,
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks -

Then, in a about a week or two,
Of having nothing else to do,
They will now begin to feel the need,
Of having something to read.

And once they start - Oh boy, Oh boy !
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills the hearts. They will grow so keen
They will wonder what they had ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen !
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did !

(Contributed by: Srikanth - G-305)

CALENDAR OF EVENTS FOR JANUARY 2014

DATE	EVENT	TIME	VENUE
13.1.2014	LOHRI BONFIRE	9.00 PM	BADMINTON COURT
19.1.2014	HERITAGE WALK TO HUMAYUN'S TOMB WITH DR. RAMJI NARAYANAN	10.30 AM	MEET AT A BLOCK GATE